The places you have come to fear the most...

The last two weeks have been like a roller coaster. We've been so busy at work, but I've felt really good about it all. I've really tried to step up and own a couple of projects and really put forth my best effort. Plus staying busy at work distracts me from other stuff going so that's always good...

My cousin Brett and his wife Sadie had their second little girl this morning. Dad woke me up in a daze with an early phone call to tell me the news. I have always considered Brett to be more of a brother than a cousin, and we've always been close. I am so happy for him and Sadie, but at the same time, it just reminds me of yet another thing I'm missing out on by being here... When Vada, their first girl was born, I was able to get to the hospital and meet her that first day. Now over a year and a half later, I've only got to hang out with her a few times... And now her little sister, I won't even get to meet until she's two months old. My dreams of turning them into little cheerleaders are quickly dwindling...

But I know that there is no one out there that understands what I'm doing more than Brett does. We've both always had big dreams, and I know he knows that's why I'm here. But that doesn't make NOT being there much easier...

I went back to Kansas City for a weekend away with Mom and just had an amazing time. I was so convinced that in a year or two I would be ready to move back there. But as I get more and more involved with work, I am really falling in love with my clients. I love to see the positive work coming out of the cancer institute, the level of creativity I get to be around with those blue guys, and the seriously kindest hearts you'll find with our PBS station...

I keep thinking about the life I left back there, and I've finally been reminded that there is a whole new life, right here, right in front of me, that I'll miss just as much if/when I leave.

Maybe the grass is always greener... Who knows.